1. starting over.

     

  2. laughing

    at myself and my previous posts.

     

  3. Mario Gets Pulled Over

    1. Mario: Is there a problem, officer?
    2. Cop: Quite a few, actually. First off, you're speeding.
    3. Mario: I'm trying to win a race.
    4. Cop: Illegal street racing on the wrong side of the highway?
    5. Mario: Well when you put it like that…
    6. Cop: And littering. That banana peel you threw back there caused an accident.
    7. Mario: Yeah, about the banana. Wario was all up in my sh*t so I had to send him packing.
    8. Cop: I'll also have to write you up for endangering a child.
    9. Mario: Oh, because I've got Baby Luigi with me? He's fine. Not a bad racer himself.
    10. Cop: You…you let the baby drive for you?
    11. Mario: It's not a big deal. If he careens off a cliff, that flying turtle guy will pull us out with his fishing pole.
    12. Cop: …Did you take any drugs before you started driving today, sir?
    13. Mario: No, but I picked up some mushrooms while I was driving today.
    14. Cop: Sir, step out of the car.
    15. Mario: Listen, officer. Maybe we can work something out. How about a hundred gold coins?
    16. Cop: I'm not taking bribes! And where the hell did you get so much gold!?
    17. Mario: I punched a bunch of bricks.
    18. Cop: Step. Out. Of. The. Car.
    19. Mario: Fine. But not finishing this race is going to kill my chances at the Star Cup. You're practically handing it to Donkey Kong.
    20. Cop: …Donkey Kong?
    21. Mario: He's a gorilla.
    22. Cop: You were racing a gorilla?
    23. Mario: And various dinosaur mutants. Also, more babies.
     

  4. "It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are 20 gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."
    — Thomas Jefferson (via quotesandyouknowstuff)
     
  5. studying ochem

    (Source: self-government, via endoftheselines)

     
  6.  
  7.  
  8.  

  9. jose

    reyes. i am so upset he is on the marlins. this is not okay. i need a new mets jersey now. =[

     
  10. metsstuff:

    One of my all-time favorite Met pictures. So cool.

    Everybody looks so young and handsome. 

     
  11. pandas-kick-ass:

    made me laugh so much:3

     
  12. letsfreakabouthp:

    I LOVE YOU ALL

    (Source: hogwartswelcomesall)

     
  13. pour-some-sugar:

    theexistenceofsomeday:

    I WILL PEE ON ALL THE THINGS YOU EAT

    this is too much. crying with laughter. cannot. stop. staring. at. snape.

    I read this on all of their voices oh my god.

    This made me giggle.

    (Source: jakelaycock, via dark-bay)

     
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